When Love is a Lie: How to Recognize a Counterfeit Relationship Before It Wrecks You

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When Love is a Lie: How to Recognize a Counterfeit Relationship Before It Wrecks You

By Coach Davie – Tuesday Night Love Talk Notes

INTRODUCTION: The Scam That Mirrors Many Modern Relationships

In 1925, a conman named Victor Lustig pulled off one of the boldest scams in history—he sold the Eiffel Tower. Yes, you read that right.

Lustig forged government documents and invited top Parisian scrap metal dealers to a secret meeting. Claiming the Eiffel Tower was to be demolished due to structural decay, he offered to sell it to the highest bidder—privately. One wealthy dealer took the bait, handed over a fortune, and was too embarrassed to report the crime. Astonishingly, Lustig repeated the same con again on another victim.

As I reflected on this, I realized that fake love works the same way. A counterfeit partner can look like a dream, talk like your answered prayer, and appeal to your strongest desires—until you realize you were sold a fantasy. By then, heartbreak and shame make it harder to speak up or walk away.

This is why I teach what I teach. On our Tuesday Love Talks, I want to help you discern the difference between real love and a dangerous counterfeit—before you hand over your heart.

Let’s break this down into five warning signs every person should look out for.


1. When You Meet a Counterfeit Lover, Your Flesh Will Be Over-Excited

It’s normal to feel chemistry, but overwhelming excitement—especially early on—can be a red flag. That “this is it!” feeling can blind us to inconsistencies, lack of character, or even spiritual misalignment.

Research Insight: Studies show that when people experience intense romantic attraction, dopamine spikes can mimic the effects of addiction (Fisher, 2016). You literally can’t think straight.

Biblical Anchor: “Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed.” – 1 Peter 1:13

🛠️ Coaching Tip: Take time to pray, journal, and involve mature mentors before your feelings lead your decisions.


2. You’ll Feel Pressured to Conform to the World’s Relationship Standards

Counterfeit love often makes you feel like you need to catch up. You might compare yourself to friends posting #couplegoals or feel embarrassed being single.

That’s when compromise creeps in. You start lowering your values just to be accepted.

Research Insight: Social comparison theory suggests that people derive their self-worth by comparing themselves to others (Festinger, 1954). In the age of Instagram, it’s more toxic than ever.

📖 “Do not love the world or anything in the world… The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.” – 1 John 2:15-17

Real Talk: You’re not behind. God's timing for you is not delayed—it's divine.


3. You’ll Sense a Strange Spiritual Disconnection or War

Suddenly, your prayer life feels dry. You stop attending fellowships. You’re no longer growing. That’s not coincidence—it could be warfare.

Spiritual Insight: The devil doesn’t always show up with horns. Sometimes, he comes dressed as “the one.” And if he can distract your destiny through dating, he will.

📖 “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” – 1 Peter 5:8

Research Note: A 2020 Barna study found that Christians in spiritually mismatched relationships report significantly lower spiritual growth and higher anxiety levels.

Coach’s Prayer: If your spirit is uneasy, don’t silence that voice. It might be the Holy Spirit giving you a way of escape.


4. You’ll Feel Pressured to Ignore Godly Wisdom and Advice

“I know what the Bible says, but…”
“My friends just don’t get us…”
“We’re going fast because it feels right…”

🚩 These are all signs you’re drifting from the wisdom God put around you. Proverbs warns us repeatedly that haste, lack of discipline, and isolation lead to destruction.

📖 “Desire without knowledge is not good—how much more will hasty feet miss the way!” – Proverbs 19:2

Coaching Question: Are you building your relationship on godly principles—or emotional urgency?

Wisdom Wins: When it’s from God, it will stand the test of accountability, time, and counsel.


5. You’ll Have That “Something Is Off” Feeling That Won’t Go Away

That subtle uneasiness isn’t paranoia—it’s often the Holy Spirit whispering, “This is not for you.”

It doesn’t mean the person is evil. They might even be a great person, just not God’s person for you.

Psych Insight: Therapists call this “emotional dissonance”—when what you feel and what you know clash. Don’t ignore that tension. Explore it with God.

📖 “The peace of Christ, to which you were also called in one body, rule your hearts.” – Colossians 3:15

Coach’s Word: Real peace from God may still involve fear or unknowns, but it never involves confusion or chaos.


FINAL THOUGHTS: Don't Let Loneliness Lead You into a Trap

Victor Lustig pulled off the Eiffel Tower scam because people wanted a deal too good to be true. Greed blinded them. The same thing happens in relationships when loneliness blinds us to clear warning signs.

From this coach’s heart to yours, I urge you: Don’t just fall in love—fall in line with God’s wisdom.

Before you give your heart to anyone, ask:

  • Am I at peace with God about this?

  • Do I feel rushed, pressured, or confused?

  • Am I growing spiritually in this relationship?

Because real love won’t sell you a fantasy—it will walk with you in truth.

JOIN THE TALK

💬 What are some red flags you’ve seen (or ignored) in your past relationships?
👇 Share in the comments.

With love and truth,
Coach Davie
Mentor | Relationship Coach | Founder, Davecha Moments


Want more insights? Contact me for bookings, coaching & mentorship. 

WhatsApp: +254 721 166180 | ✉️ Email: davechamoments@gmail.com

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