Secrets of marriage preparation: Journey to Malindi (Kuhaswa1)

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Secrets of Marriage Preparation 

By Coach Davie

What No One Tells You (But You Really Need to Know)

Getting ready for marriage is more than planning a wedding—it’s preparing for a lifetime. And while love is the foundation, it takes more than emotion to build something that lasts.

Here are some of the real secrets to solid marriage preparation—beyond the Pinterest boards and premarital classes.

1. Ask the Hard Questions Early

It’s tempting to avoid uncomfortable topics when everything feels romantic. But real preparation means diving into:

  • Money habits and expectations

  • Family planning and parenting styles

  • Conflict resolution styles

  • Spiritual alignment and values

  • Life goals and dreams

If you can’t talk about it now, it’ll blow up later.

2. Deal With Your Baggage Before You Pack It Together

Marriage won’t heal your unprocessed trauma, childhood wounds, or unresolved bitterness. Bring your whole self to the table—but bring a healed self. Counseling or mentorship before the wedding is a gift to your future marriage.

3. Character > Chemistry

Attraction fades. Feelings shift. What stays? Character. Integrity. Emotional maturity. Forgiveness. Loyalty. Work ethic.

If the person you’re preparing to marry shows those traits consistently—that’s worth more than butterflies.

4. Practice Communication, Not Performance

Don't just rehearse your vows—rehearse honesty. Practice how you share frustrations, needs, and expectations now. Learn to listen without reacting. Learn to speak truth without attacking.

Good communication is built over time—start building before you say “I do.”

5. Prepare for the Mundane, Not Just the Magical

Some days won’t feel romantic at all. There will be bills, dishes, illnesses, job changes, parenting stress. Preparation means learning how to love in the ordinary.

Can you still show up for each other when it’s not exciting?

6. Surround Yourself With Wise Community

Married life needs mentorship. Talk to couples who’ve walked the path. Get around people who tell you the truth, pray with you, and hold you accountable.

Your wedding will have guests. Your marriage needs counsel.

7. Pray More Than You Post

It’s easy to get caught up in showing off the engagement ring or venue planning. But what really strengthens the foundation is this: pray together, listen to God, and invite Him in early.

No wedding planner can do what God can do in your hearts.

Final Word:

Marriage prep isn’t about perfection.
It’s about intention.
And the real secret?
Don’t just prepare for a wedding.
Prepare to love someone well, daily, for life.

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